


Always You

by MoonDelena



Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: Angst, I’m sorry, John Watson is bi, Johnlock is canon, M/M, One-Shot, Sadness, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:35:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25339240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonDelena/pseuds/MoonDelena
Summary: A short and angsty one-shot I made after watching the reichenbach fall, enjoy!
Relationships: Mary Morstan/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Kudos: 4





	Always You

**Author's Note:**

> Ps: this is my first fanfic so I’m sorry if it’s bad.

John walks to Sherlock’s grave, the same place he has been so many times. 

It still hurts him to be here, but it’s better than being alone.

At least here he feels sort of connected to him.

“Yes, it’s me, again.” He sighs, he’s so tired of how much this hurts.

“I’ve just, I got to say something. Something I’ve been meaning to tell you for so long.”

He takes a pause and then continues.

“I was too scared to tell you. and then you...”

He tries to fight his tears. He tries not to cry, he’s so bloody tired of crying.

“I found someone and I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

He doesn’t really know how to continue.

“I-I just.. I felt... I felt guilty about it. And I’ve been questioning myself for weeks now, why I feel guilty. It only hit me when..” he smirks a little, he’s been so stupid.

“I realized it when I told ms. Hudson that I was going to propose to marry. After I told her she said ‘so soon after Sherlock?’”

He takes another pause.

“We were never a couple of course. But the thing is... you weren’t just a friend to me, Sherlock. You bloody weren’t. Because I know how I feel around friends and that’s.. that’s nothing compared to how I feel around you.”

It’s true. He always felt this special feeling around Sherlock.

“I loved you.” He whispers.

It’s a relieve, finally saying it out loud.

“I loved you, so damn much.” He says now louder.

“You were the best man I knew. The best person I knew. But I was to scared to confess my feelings to you. And after a while I actually convinced myself that my feelings weren’t real, because I was too much of a coward.”

He feels tears streaming down his eyes. But he doesn’t care, he has to continue.

“I’m so sorry Sherlock, I’m so so sorry. Maybe if I told you what a beautiful and magnificent human being were you’d still be alive.” His voice breaks at the end of the sentence, he falls crying onto his knees.

“If only you knew.” He whispers.

He’s sitting like that for a long time.

On his knees before his loves grave.

He feels like he can sit like that for entirety, but he has to go to dinner with Mary.

He sighs and stands up.

He walks away but then comes back.

“You know, I would have chosen you. It would have been you. It has always been you. If only you were here.” He says.

Then he walks away from the grave. 


End file.
